Intimacy & Desire: Awaken the Passion in Your Relationship by David Schnarch & Dr. David Schnarch P.h.D

Author:David Schnarch & Dr. David Schnarch P.h.D
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Beaufort Books
Published: 2011-07-01T05:00:00+00:00

• Scene three: The Devil’s Pact unravels

Six weeks later, Ken and Barbie had a huge fight. Ken was screaming like a lunatic. Barbie sat quietly. The expression on her face said, See what I have to put up with? And you expect me to initiate sex with you when you act like this?!

Ken screamed, “It’s been a month and half! You haven’t initiated once! You said you’d initiate sex if I backed off! Why haven’t you initiated?!”

The dismissive sing-song quality in Barbie’s voice said her take on things was unquestionably right. “At first I didn’t initiate sex because I was enjoying not feeling pressured. After all, that’s why we made this agreement. The whole idea was that I wasn’t going to feel pressured for sex. Besides, I want sex to be meaningful when we have it. I didn’t want to do it just to do it.”

Ken rolled his eyes in disgust. “Okay. Maybe that explains the first night or the first several days. But why didn’t you initiate after that?”

“Well, when we didn’t do it the first night, I knew you expected it on the second. I started to feel pressured, so I didn’t do it, hoping the pressure would go away.”

Ken grabbed the high ground: “I was good. I didn’t say a word.”

Barbie took it away from him. “I felt like you were watching me, waiting to see what I would do. Which you were—don’t deny it. I don’t feel sexy when you do that!”

“But it’s been six weeks!”

Barbie snarled, “You don’t need to say anything. I could tell you were frustrated and expecting me to initiate. You were doing your same old thing, in a different way. I’m not going to have sex when I feel pressured! You’re not going to force me to have sex with you when I don’t want to!”

Ken eased up a notch. “So why didn’t you say something about this weeks ago? We had a deal.”

Barbie’s snarl turned to weariness and fatigue. “I knew we would fight. I’m so tired of this. I just put it off. I needed a break. This whole thing doesn’t have to rest on my shoulders, you know!”

Ken was ready to tear his hair out. “That was our agreement!”

Barbie’s tone was mocking. “Oh, so now it’s all my fault! You expect me to make all the initiations? I never agreed to do all the work. I’m not the only one in this relationship. You didn’t bring it up, either. It’s your responsibility, too.” And with that Barbie walked out of the room.

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